I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I understand Curling. That high.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
