I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
