I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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