garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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