I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
