on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
