nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How naked do you want me to be?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
