she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
