I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
