3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
