guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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