We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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