my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I believe in your delicious
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
