My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
