you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize