smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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