that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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