Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
