my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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