Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
