addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
