what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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