Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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