so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We just shotgunned beers for America
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Why can't burritos get me drunk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
