he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
