Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
