After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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