just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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