And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize