It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
