5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
