In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
