We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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