She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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