I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
