I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
