Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
