Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
