I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize