this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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