take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh god it's open bar.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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