he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
