Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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