i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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