just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
