Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So much rum. So many feels.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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