Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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