So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
