I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
