Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize