I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
