he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
