I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
