But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
