I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
