we're blogging at a bar
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize