Nicole vs. Life
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
