here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
