im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
