I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
