Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
try to milk me bitch
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
